Monday, December 01, 2014

Christmas is upon us again

...and I am super excited. I just love caroling and this year I am picking up a few copies of Pentatonix's winter album - That's christmas to me

Google done messed up...sigh. What have you done to my blog?

where are the pictures? rude

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Rest in Peace Aziza Caswell

A year after starting my current job, I had the pleasure of meeting my collegue Janet's AMAZING little angel, Aziza!  She was a tiny little happy girl, trapped in her own world but yet, wonderfully content.  She had the most amazing hair and a fashion sense that would make any fashionista jealous.

On Wednesday as I was starting my day, my manager let me know that little Aziza had been admitted into hospital.  Her mom Janet who was documenting her beautiful Warrior Princess's milestones blogged appealing for prayers.  Her Warrior Princess had gone into hospital with what she suspected to be a stomach bug.  Things went downhill fast, a code blue was pronounced and soon little Aziza was in emergency surgery.

Little Aziza passed away Monday afternoon.  She was 6 years old  It's important to note that Aziza was  an extraordinary 6 year old.  She had faced incredible challenges and every time she triumphed like the champ she was.  She was indeed a Little Warrior Princess.  You may get to know Aziza right here.  Please also lift her family up in prayer - her mother Janet, her loving sister Samantha and the entire family that they may find some semblance of peace at this unthinkable time.

While I shed tears and continue to think of Janet - mother to mother, I can't help but feel special that her Little Warrior Princess touched my life.  Aziza was the true meaning of purity, ever innocent, even in times of pain.  I feel blessed to have known her and I pray to God today, that He may envelope her and give her her wings.  For today Aziza became a true angel.  Watch over your mama and your sister Sam, angel Aziza.  You made their lives richer and you made my heart smile.  I will cherish the last time I saw you, when you sat on my lap and allowed me to stroke your beautiful hair.

Rest easy beautiful Angel.  You will not be forgotten.


Self awakening - shattering the old

Growing up, I thought I had it made. Things came to me easy. If I needed a job, it would come to me. If I wanted something I could almost always get it. At the time, I did not understand my potential but now that I have been through stuff, I understand wht I allowed to slip through my fingers.

I used to be uber fearless! Fear would stare me in the face and it would bow down. I doubt fear even bothered with my behind because it would knock and no one would be home. I moved countries, and as Chinua Achebe wrote, things did fall apart soon after.

Only now in 2011 am I seeing results of the self awakening journey that I forced myself to embark on sometime in 2008. Like anything else, the process ebbed and flowed - sometimes even coming to a complete halt.

I had to do something because fear was literally paralysing me. One boy stopped talking to me because I 'apologised too much'. Of course at the time I was in victim mode - so I was owning all injurious statements. I thought he was so mean, but looking at it now, he was right! Who apologises even after being bumped!? Self esteem (and all common sense on life support!) was at an all time low.

Thanks to YouTube and lots and lots of reading materials, I understood what was going on. I had handed over my keys and allowed fear (right along with a couple of pounds) to move into their new home. Fear breeds anxiety which breeds paranoia, which calls for medication.

I will only self medicate (with pharmas) as a last and necessary resort. so my medication became audio tapes and books by the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Doreen Virtue, Wyne Dwyer, Doreen Virtue, Joel Osteen, Deepak Chopra, to name but a few. I had to understand the need to be spiritually plugged in and let go of my Presbyterian. I read across most religions and the underlying message is always the same....Fear is not of God/Creator/Universe.

I am in a much better place now and am sorrounded by band new challended tht I will get into in another post. No one can be 100% everydy...

Pic Credit

The child is returning to the soil

The time has come.....

When I first arrived in Canada, I was perplexed by Africans that had not made the journey back to the motherland in say 11 years.  Well look who has become that African.  I haven't been back home since 2001 because of various factors.  What is the lesson here people?  Do not judge!  So much happened and it nearly consumed me but look who is back!  I am making my first trek home in a week!  I am so excited and you can't even stop me if you tried!!!

I will keep all of you posted.

Stay tuned.

Saturday, November 03, 2012

What is it?

I pride myself in being somewhat of a writer. OK fine a writer if you will!

BUT here's the thing. I barely blog. I do not understand why. I want to! I admire those who do. When my big opportunities arise, I am paralysed. I am flustered. I am embarrassed.

As i type, I am getting the answer. I think I hear FEAR. They are telling me I will never be great if I live in fear. They say I did not come forth to live small.

It's time to shed this pointless emotion.

I will do my best.

I will make it till I make it (I wont fake it)

Send me light.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Daniel Fast and Spirital Growth

I am at a place in my life where I feel I need renewal in my life. I feel like I have kicked and thrashed and it is now time to submit.

I will be going on the Daniel Fast starting tomorrow and I am all kinds of excited. I feel like 2012 is a year of new beginnings for me, a time to just talk to Jehovah and tell Him I am now ready. I am ready for it all!!

Pray for me and I will pray for you. It's a new day.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The bigger picture .....

It was but a Friday when Jehovah finally answered my prayers!

See I have been believing for an end to the fatigue that had been plaguing my mind and body and that ever tacking cough. What with all the "nothing is wrong with you" chants from the family doctor and his cohorts, I was ready to hang up my "hypochondriac" jersey.

Fridays the 6th brought me disturbing news (according to me) that would turn out to be the wisest decision that a girl ever made. Yes a girl has made some foolish decisions before ...but that is not the moral of this story.

The moral of the story is that you HAVE to find the joy in EVERY happening. That Friday, my doctor made me, YES MADE ME, drop everything mid air, sentence, you name it - check myself into hospital.

Instant meltdown - visions of the worst kind running through my mind. I'm going to get an iPod in my heart...ohhh nooooo.....more pouting. He is always there to put the R in reality. He asked why I was being a negative Nancy! I wondered why they had phones in Dallas!

Three days later - doe eyed and alert as a deaf thief!

Look who is grateful now!

One day "Why me?????", three days later "Jehovah heard my prayers"

Nice to meet you pacemaker. I thought you was for old people only.

We are going to go places together - being full of gratitude together.